It's time to face the elephant.I've been avoiding the subject.
Probably because its just a topic I've been avoiding in my mind... but the calendar is making me face reality.
Triathlon season is here.
Just typing that stirs a sense of frustration and disappointment within myself. Last years calendar remains on my right side bar because I can't bring myself to just delete the results of all my hard work. I had planned on replacing it with the 2008 calendar but there are a lot of things that have postponed those plans.
My primary reason for not registering for any triathlons at the current moment is that I don't really know where to register...the events aren't necessarily cheap and I don't want to register for something in NJ and discover it is going to be the same weekend we move, or the weekend we need to go to VA for the inspection, or the weekend the movers are coming, etc. Then once we move I know that the month of August is going to be crazy busy as we try to remodel the kitchen and get settled before school starts. All the unknown variables don't create a conducive training environment that needs a lot of schedule, routine and consistency.
The whole mystery of what this summer looks like has hindered my motivation and focus on training. I've been going to the gym three or four times a week in the off season. Recently I've started going to a spin class on occasion and I dusted off my bike and hit the road. I've been in the pool on occasion. I've been running inconsistently on the treadmill and finally made it outside to run. I feel like I could do a triathlon right now if forced to...it may not be pretty and I may not be proud of my times but I know I could finish. A triathlon this summer isn't completely out of question but it is looking a little bleak.
The whole mystery of what this summer looks like has hindered my motivation and focus on training. I've been going to the gym three or four times a week in the off season. Recently I've started going to a spin class on occasion and I dusted off my bike and hit the road. I've been in the pool on occasion. I've been running inconsistently on the treadmill and finally made it outside to run. I feel like I could do a triathlon right now if forced to...it may not be pretty and I may not be proud of my times but I know I could finish. A triathlon this summer isn't completely out of question but it is looking a little bleak.
Despite the reality that this summer of change and transition is forcing triathlons to sit on the back burner, the fact remains that I'm disappointed in myself. I truly intend to continue doing triathlons. I can't even verbalize the success I felt after last summer and how strong I felt. I realize there are seasons in life and this summer may be just that...but none the less I'm still saddened that I don't have a big race calendar on the sidebar.
2 comments:
Don't be so hard on yourself. You had an amazing year last year (even motivated and inspired others to get more active, etc.) and you can still look forward to more amazing years of triathalons. Don't be disappointed in yourself! You are way too successful in all of your endeavors to allow those thoughts. Keep your head up Friend! You'll sign up again when the time and place are right...
Sometimes life circumstances just won't allow it, especially for events like this where training is so crucial. You will get back in it, you're tough like that.
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