No one reads this since I have abandoned it...so it seems like a safe place to vent.
Maybe vent isn't the right word.
I have a friend in the fight of her life. She is more then a friend...she has been a sister to me. She is a sister to me.
So watching her suffer absolutey sucks.
Since no one is reading I'll admit my faith is shaken. I'm not afraid to say I'm mad at God. I figure not voicing it is ridiculous...it's not like he doesn't know my innermost thoughts.
I'm mad. I'm confused. I'm broken. I'm sad.
Can God do miracles. Yes. That is part of my frustration. I'm waiting for a modern day miracle.
Despite the fact it's only ten days into the month of August...we're starting school in the south! This northern can't get used to the 90 degree tempertures combined with new shoes and packing lunches! It was a fun summer and I always have mixed emotions on the first day of school...the organizer in me enjoys a schedule but I also miss those lazy mornings in our pjs snuggling on the couch.
Miss Morgan...ready for preschool and MORE then excited!
Brooke...cute new bob that she has been asking for...minus a tooth after our summer adventures and ready to conquer first grade!
I know Mckenna is ready for third grade...just not sure that third grade is ready for her!
The sign says fith grade...her height and shoe size says she is fifteen! Starting off the year at 5'1 and she size 8.5...wonder what she will be like at the end of the year...I think I may be looking up at her!
We had a great day celebrating daddy! Last year Brad was in the "sandbox" so it was a bittersweet day as we didn't get to enjoy his company. As I took pictures of the girls with Brad today I recalled our photo from two years prior and thought I would compare.
2010...my girls were only 8, 6, 4 and 15 months.
2012...now they are 10, 8, 6 and 3. It's going WAY too fast!
I think often about the parents of Olympic athletes. That may sound funny...but I wonder if I have what it takes to be the parent of an Olympian.
Usually when we think of the Olympics, we just think of the athletes themselves. But behind every one of those athletes was a person that loved them enough to sacrifice a lot of their own life to sit on bleachers and endure hours of practices each day so that a future Olympian could emerge.
My eight year old is a natural athlete and a gifted gymnast. She has been on a hiatus now for almost a year from competing that stems from our move to Texas in the fall and our mid year move to Mississippi. Unfortunately the closest gym to our current house is 45 minutes away. And practice at her level is already close to 12 hours a week! It seems like a nice gym and a pretty good program. My biggest hesitation now is figuring out how I make it fair to my other 3 children who also have their own interests that I want to consider and support. If I was just sacrificing my own schedule it would be another situation...but we're a large family and all my kids have a lot of potential that I want to be able to help cultivate.
This commercial brings me to tears every time. It's the blond haired blue eyed gymnast...I just see my 8 year old when they show her little face. I just wish I knew...what is her future as far as gymnastics? Should we make the drive and sacrifice time so this could be her future. I realize the odds are like winning the lottery, but you don't have a chance of winning the lotto if you don't buy a ticket...she'll never have a shot at any future in gymnastics, even a college scholarship, if she doesn't start training.
So I pray. And I look at my calendar. And I look into other activities for my other kids. And I stress. And I wonder. And I pray. And I ask my daughter, "are you SURE you're wanting to do this"...and I watch commercials like this and I wonder if I have what it takes!
38, SAHM to 4 beautiful girls, AF wife of my best friend, follower of Christ, triathlete, former counselor...now in need of counseling, social drinker (coffee), college football fan, amateur photographer, inappropriate laugher.